“Sometimes the pain was so severe, that If I could have put my hand inside my heart and snatched it out I would have done it to stop the hurting,”.
She sighed, before continuing .
“It felt like a death. But in some ways it was worse than that. When I lost my dad I knew he had died and was not coming back. When I lost my marriage, it was a different kind of pain. My husband left me but was still here. And since we shared a child, I still had to interact with him.”
A dear friend reflected on this memory in a recent conversation. Decades have passed since this experience, yet she still recalled the deep chasm of pain that engulfed her in that season.
She married her high school sweetheart, the love of her life, brimming with youthful naïveté, believing it would be a forever union.
Within 5 years, the relationship was in disarray, communication non-existent, divorce imminent.
Her husband left her and married another, who left her husband to be with him. One explosive affair that detonated two marriages.
But this is not a lamentable story of infidelity. This is a REDEMPTION story!
Despite broken hearts, broken vows, and broken trust...my friend and her estranged spouse eventually found their way back to each other.
Sometimes a heart must be broken before TIME can make it wise.
She became receptive to the leading of her inner knowing. She discerned whispers from Spirit to her soul that the marriage would one day be restored.
Wisdom and insights that are divinely revealed often make NO sense in the natural.
Her situation was no exception. She believed, in faith, that they would someday be reunited. But reality was that her remarried ex-spouse had moved several states away, and she was a single parent who’d built a life where she was.
But Destiny intervened.....turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones.
Her ex-husband’s second marriage ended in divorce. A job opportunity arose for her in the state to which he’d relocated
TIME matured her into a woman of deep faith and he underwent a separate, but similar, experience of spiritual transformation.
They reconnected hearts as wiser and more grounded souls; Gems transformed by time and pressure from coal into fine diamonds.
They remarried on Father’s Day, 1991 and will celebrate 30 years reunited this June.
I love the atypical nature of their love story. It beautifully defies common notions of what is "typical" for marriage OR divorce.
I no longer hold concrete views about what constitutes “typical”.
I’ve relinquished suppositions about how things are “supposed” to be. I’ve embraced nuance. Given up on formula’s.
Learned to see the shades of gray between the black and white of life.
Everyone’s life is their story. It doesn’t have to fit a pattern, or conform to a set narrative.
HOPE, lies in recognizing that you need not be discouraged if your story doesn’t fit some script of perceived normalcy.
Write your own script. Define your own normalcy. Chart your own path!